


Letter that'll never be sent

by KillerGhoul



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Ficlet, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 16:10:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14060598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerGhoul/pseuds/KillerGhoul
Summary: Negan writes what he feels, and can't say aloud.





	Letter that'll never be sent

Dear, Rick

 

What if I told you that I wish we had met differently? I would have preferred meeting before the world went to shit, like maybe at a store or gas station. Instead we met in a apocalypse when my people had you surrounded at gunpoint. The moment I made eye contact with you I saw the hatred you had for me. At the time I didn't give a fuck because why should I have? You were just some random fucker who crossed me. That was then though, now, now I hate seeing that look in your eyes. It's gets to me. Mostly because I wish you didn't hate me. If we had met differently I think me and you would have become fast friends instead of enemies. 

 

What if I told you that I'm sorry? I truly am. You may not know it, but sometimes that Asian man and ginger visit me in my dreams. They make me go through the motions of killing them. Sometimes it'll even be myself that I'm bashing in the head of. That's not even the scariest part. The scariest part is when I see you kneeling in front of me. You're trying to keep a look of pure loathing on your face, but I can see the fear in your eyes. Then I'm bashing your head in. I've tried stopping myself in the dream, but it's like a force is making me swing my bat. I've woken up with tears in my eyes as the fresh images of your face being torn apart, and the sound of you choking on your own blood assault me. The dreams keep getting worse too, especially when I do something bad to your group. I wish I could just say sorry to you in person, but I know it's already too late for that. 

 

What if I told you that I love you? I know it seems out of the blue, but it really isn't. It actually took me awhile to realize it. At first I never understood why I felt the need to always antagonize you. I had assumed it was because you couldn't do anything in retaliation, and that had been amusing to me. In reality it's more like I'm the little boy pulling your pigtails in class. I honestly have no idea why I even fell in love with you. I guess it could be because I see that you're such a strong leader, an amazing survivor, and a caring person (the last part is extremely astounding to me since the world we live in now makes it hard to be like that). Also I feel that me and you just work, or least we could work if we weren't enemies. God how I wish we weren't. It fucking sucks to love you when you don't love me. 

 

I wonder what would happen if I told you any of this? You'd probably think I'm fucked in the head, or that I'm lying to you. Whatever you're response would be I'd rather keep wondering instead of finding out the truth. I'm never going to give this letter to you. The only reason I'm writing this is because it's all starting to get to me. I can't talk to anyone about how I'm feeling, I have no friends that's why. Once I'm done writing I'm going to burn this letter. 

 

Before I do, Rick, I just wanted to say that I wish things were different, that I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you and your group, that I love you so damn much. 

 

Sincerely, Negan.

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive any grammar, punctuation, and spelling mistakes I may have missed while editing.
> 
> Feel free to comment and leave a Kudos! ^_^


End file.
